Jun-Tack Oh wanders around the Underground, trying to decide what's for lunch. Uncertain, Jun passes on Pizza Hut and Chick-fil-A and settles on Chinese. Struggling through the lunch-hour rush, he pays for his food and manages to find an open table in the crowd.
Jun sits comfortably in his chair, slowly poking at what remains of his lunch. The General Tso's Chicken was good, but not spicy enough. Hardly anything he finds to eat has the same kick of spices that his mother's homemade Korean meals do.
He speaks confidently, with only a modest Korean accent audible. Everything about Jun shows that he is a laid-back college student, but he seems tense. When he talks about plans for after college, he isn't sure what he'll do.
For Jun, almost nothing has been certain for the past eight years.
Jun, a junior originally from South Korea, has lived with uncertainty since he was a junior high student in Seoul, South Korea. As a young teenager growing up in South Korea's capital and largest city, his parents struggled with a difficult decision. Should Jun move to the United States for his high school education, as his brother did, or should he stay in Seoul? It turned out to be the first of a series of choices Jun would have to make - none of which were easy, all of which have left him somewhere between two cultures.
The decision was ultimately his own, he said. His brother, Seoung-Tack Oh, attended high school in Hays in the late 1990s, so that helped Jun with his decision. He said he and his brother talked about the benefits and difficulties of going to school in a foreign nation.
"I like how school works here. There is more freedom, such as playing sports and extra curricular activities," he said. "And most importantly, there are no after school institutions."
In Korea, the school day starts at seven in the morning and doesn't end till four or five in the afternoon. Once classes are out, the students have the option to stay at school longer to study, or go to a college preparatory institution for a few hours each day. Korean students only get one chance to take the Korean equivalent to the ACT or SAT in the United States. Jun said there is immense pressure on high school students in Korea.
Jun decided to follow his brother and come to the United States because he didn't want to feel the pressure he would feel if he stayed in Korea. Arrangements were made for Jun to live with a Korean family in Topeka. His mother, Myung-Ja Keum, traveled to Topeka and Lawrence in 1999 to visit the University of Kansas and met Jun's future host family during that trip. She said she never tried to convince Jun to stay home for high school.
"I had been to Kansas before, so I knew Jun would do well in Kansas. The people are friendly, and I understood how much stress Jun would have if he studied here in Korea," she said through Jun's translation.
In August of 2002, Jun said goodbye to his family and boarded a plane to the United States. His ticket was one-way. There wouldn't be a return flight - at least not in the foreseeable future. He remembers his first impressions of the United States as he took the hour and half ride from the Kansas City airport to Topeka, where he would spend the next four years.
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This map shows the places Jun has lived. Image by Ryan Elder
"There was so much more open space here than in Korea. In Seoul, all there are only buildings," Jun said.
Space was the easiest thing for Jun to adjust to. He was in a different country, speaking a language he had only studied for 18 months, had no friends, and was going to live with a family he didn't met till they picked him up at the airport. He was scared, nervous, and not certain he made the right decision.
Jun was only in the United States for a week before his first day as a high school student arrived. He remembers how nervous he was on that first day, especially when he introduced himself to his classmates as part of an ice-breaker game. Students were instructed to say their name and an animal that started with the same letter as their first name. Jun didn't understand the instructions.
"I said 'Hi, my name is Jun, and my favorite animal is a dolphin,'" he said while hardly controlling his laughter. He was embarrassed as his puzzled classmates tried to temper their giggles.
Jun attended a soccer camp at his high school that week before classes began, but his host family prohibited him from being a part of the team. He was devastated. He had the talent to be on the varsity team, but all his time was to be devoted to studying and improving his English. Jun said the language barrier between he and his classmates made it even more difficult to make friends. The first couple months of his time in Kansas were by far the toughest.
"Meeting friends was the hardest part. I was so lonely most of the time," he said.
Jun was allowed to join the soccer team his sophomore year of high school, where he was immediately placed on the Varsity squad. He quickly gained popularity in the school of about 500. His senior year he was nominated for Homecoming King. His struggles of freshman year were long behind him, yet he still didn't feel at home.
Home would always be in Seoul. He missed seeing his family regularly. Most years he would return home for a week over Christmas break, and for one month during the summer. He communicated with his parents through email and occasionally on the phone. The distance from family, and the loneliness that accompanied it never went away.
Jun no longer had trouble making friends, but instead faced the peer pressures common to all teenagers. He said he was surprised by the easy availability and widespread use of drugs in American culture, even in high school. It was also his mother's biggest concern.
"Jun has been affected by American culture in a lot of positive ways, but before he left, I worried about the drugs and sex that seem so popular in America," she said.
As college loomed in the future, Jun was uncertain what he would do.
He could go back to Korea, or choose four more years away from his family to earn a degree from an American college. Hardly a day went by that he didn't ponder what he would do after graduation. Some days the decision was easy; he would stay in the United States. Other days Jun was sure he would attend college in South Korea - he just wanted to be closer to home.
Jun is pursuing a major in health science at KU. He isn't sure what he wants to after he graduates. One thing, however, is certain. He will, at some time, have to return home to South Korea, and serve in the South Korean military for at least two years. By law, all adult males must do so. Jun's brother served in the military from 2002 to 2004. At the time, he was struggling with college work in the United States, so he decided then was the time to serve in the military.
Jun faces a different situation, however. Tensions between North and South Korea at the 38th Parallel are higher than they were six years ago when his brother served. Jun, who has always been a good student, is excelling in his college courses.
Despite his academic achievements, Jun will probably leave KU after the 2009 fall semester, and enter the military in early 2010. After his military service is over, he hopes to come back to KU in fall 2012 to finish his degree. He wants to be a physical therapist, which presents another uncertainty.
The level of physical therapy in South Korea isn't very good, Jun said. If offered a physical therapy job in the United States, he will take it. However, Jun doesn't think many employers will be interested in hiring him. If Jun took a job in the United States, he said he will seek U.S. citizenship.
"That would be a weird feeling, not being a citizen of my home country. But I would be ok with it, and I think my family would be too," Jun said.
Jun faces a promising future, but an uncertain one.
In a way, Jun has established some roots in Kansas. What started as a journey to a foreign country in the pursuit of education has manifested into a tug-o-war between two nations, cultures and identities. For now, he said he takes it one day at a time, and tried to enjoy the college lifestyle - while he still has it.